Riding a rental e-scooter after two beers (one 3 km ride home): 1 in 5.6 million chance it kills you

~0.18 micromorts. Like taking the train 1,800 km, or 1.8 flights. Estimate.

Mortmeter: Not worth it. Your front teeth and skull are worth more than the fifteen minutes saved not walking.

Assuming: A 3 km nighttime urban trip with mild alcohol impairment and no helmet

How we got this: Shared e-scooters baseline at 1.5 micromorts per 100 km according to operators' own data. Mild intoxication and darkness roughly quadruple that rate to 6 micromorts per 100 km. A 3 km ride multiplied by 0.06 micromorts per km gives 0.18 micromorts.

What gets you: Loss of balance leading to head trauma, Collision with motor vehicles at intersections, Pavement defects causing over-the-handlebar throws.

Cheaper version: Walking home cuts your acute travel risk by roughly 70 percent and spares your dental work.

Sources and method: how Mortmeter prices things, and the Atlas of measured risks.

More priced risks: Jet skiing in the Bahamas, Eating gas station sushi on a road trip, White water rafting, Sharing a bottle of Flor de Pingus, Riding Polyppen at Bakken in Denmark, Eating 2 whole pizzas, Drinking a bottle of red wine, Winter bathing in the Øresund.