Eating 2 whole pizzas: 1 in 10 million chance it kills you

~0.1 micromorts. 1 micromorts. Like taking the train 1,000 km. Estimate.

Mortmeter: Not worth it. One pizza is divine; the second only delivers heartburn, sweats, and grease-soaked existential regret.

Assuming: Consuming two standard 12-inch pizzas in a single sitting without speed-eating rules.

How we got this: A standard meal carries a baseline choking and acute cardiac risk of about 0.01 micromorts. Gorging on massive boluses of melted cheese and fat quadruples transient aspiration and cardiovascular risk. 2 pizzas at 0.05 micromorts per gorged pie equals 0.10 micromorts.

What gets you: Fatal food bolus choking, Postprandial acute cardiac strain, Acute gastric distension and aspiration.

Cheaper version: Eat one pizza now and refrigerate the second for tomorrow to cut the acute strain by 50%.

Sources and method: how Mortmeter prices things, and the Atlas of measured risks.

More priced risks: Sharing a bottle of Flor de Pingus, Riding Polyppen at Bakken in Denmark, Drinking a bottle of red wine, Winter bathing in the Øresund, A week of off-piste skiing, Getting LASIK eye surgery, Texting while driving on the motorway, Cage diving with great white sharks.