Texting while driving on the motorway: 1 in 100 million chance it kills you

~0.01 micromorts. 01 micromorts. Estimate.

Mortmeter: No upside. Don't. Risking your life to reply 'lol' at 70 mph is peak statistical stupidity.

Assuming: Composing and sending one text message over five seconds of distraction at 110 km/h

How we got this: Baseline motorway travel carries around 0.0015 micromorts per kilometre, but safety studies show texting multiplies crash risk roughly twenty-fold to 0.067 micromorts per kilometre. Traveling at 110 km/h leaves you blind for 0.15 km during a five-second text: 0.15 km times 0.067 micromorts per km equals 0.01 micromorts.

What gets you: Rear-ending sudden traffic queues at highway speed, Drifting out of lane into adjacent heavy vehicles, Violent overcorrection after looking back up.

Cheaper version: Dictating via hands-free voice assistant cuts visual distraction risk by roughly 70 percent.

Sources and method: how Mortmeter prices things, and the Atlas of measured risks.

More priced risks: Sharing a bottle of Flor de Pingus, Riding Polyppen at Bakken in Denmark, Eating 2 whole pizzas, Drinking a bottle of red wine, Winter bathing in the Øresund, A week of off-piste skiing, Getting LASIK eye surgery, Cage diving with great white sharks.